Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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