Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
