I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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