This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
