i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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