it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
