She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
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Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
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She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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