Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I am one with the molecules
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
