Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
