happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
