I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
