'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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