The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
