If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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