Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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