I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
