i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
