I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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