South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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