we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
