somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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