Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
