I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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