Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it hurts more in the daytime
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
