fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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