she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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