I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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