He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
