'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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