so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
