So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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