I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
