Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
