I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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