Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
