I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
