She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
