You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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