My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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