You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
