Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
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The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
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Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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