You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
