Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
