dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
