i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
