if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
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I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm having to shit out rocks
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