how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
