oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
