You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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