I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
