look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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