I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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