You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
