he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
