Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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