I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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