Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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