My sheets look like a crime scene.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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