i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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