I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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