Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
