You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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