I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
that is very illegal...i love you.
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